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Out of spontaneity, I got a new hair 'do - a short one as a matter of fact. I've grown accustomed to my long hair and I suppose you can say that I've also grown very comfortable in the disguise of it. It wasn't something I pictured myself doing as I was always dying to grow my hair long again.
Quite a narcissistic opening to this entry? Well, sit back because it isn't - it's much more than that, it's about letting go of old ends.
I met up with the lowest of the lows but never the highest of the highs in 2016. My life is far from perfect, but still a comfortable one at that and am always grateful to God for His many blessings. In the midst of the lows and the highs, I created some sort of home I could go to whenever I needed comfort. But that home was never meant to stay. I grew somewhat numb towards the end of the year and made myself believe that there was nobody else there for me but myself.
The idea of being the only person in the world is the origin of loneliness to begin with. Don't get me wrong, I have many who love and care for me more than I could ever for myself. But at the end of the day, what really matters is that your emotional and mental state is intact with your spirituality. Every year is a step closer to growing my relationship with God and myself. It may not be an easy journey but it feeds my soul and pushes me into building a better version of myself.
So what does this have to do with my hair? Just as how I was comfortable with having long hair, I was just as comfortable with being "alone". It dawned on me that although it was an obvious act to cut off my dead ends for the past 6 months (don't bleach your hair, guys), I could never bring myself to the salon. I wanted to keep it so badly because everyone around me told me to, because everyone around me told me I looked better with it. In some sense, that applied to me being by myself. I just couldn't be bothered to get out of my comfort zone because I couldn't see the greener side of any end.
That act of cutting of my dead ends was as obvious as it is - I decided to get out of my comfort zone. I do not know what came onto me, but I'd like to think that God lifted off my burden the minute I was willing to let go of everything that was on my shoulders.
How am I supposed to start afresh in 2017 if I can't even let go of 4 inches of damaged ends? This is it, I'm saying goodbye to all my past experiences and pessimistic thoughts.
Hello to the new and improved me - aiming to welcome and embrace every opportunity and happiness that comes my way with the people that I truly love and care for. This is it...there's no turning back. This is the year to experience the highest of the highs. Let's do this.
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