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Well, hello there.
I finally have the time to organize my thoughts after being occupied with assignments and club duties. It has been by far the toughest semester with my course itself. Some unfortunate and bizarre event happened and it caused a slight whirlwind.
I am definitely not the wisest person walking on today's earth, but I know a little thing or two about being a decent human being after (what can be described as) walking on hot coals.
I have been constantly keeping my mind occupied; so much so that I was able to overcloud all the distasteful memories. How much more heart-aching news can one handle? It's unaccountable, apparently.
Because it is called growing pains.
In one of the recent camps that I participated in, we had a "sugar cube" section whereby everyone was expected to write little notes to each other. Frankly, I didn't expect to receive anything above 5 letters but to my great surprise, I received tons of them. Majority mentioning how much they appreciate the positivity and energy that I bring to the table.
I crack up jokes and laugh my heart out during the day but it took every ounce of energy that I had in me to suppress all these disappointments and hurt that have been accumulated over the past few months. It was excruciating. I was a ticking time bomb and I knew that there would be a day where I'd just lose it all and explode.
Never once, did I have the slightest clue of it being in a form of a destructive friendship. The weight of seeing the person you trusted the most to have had multiple faces is just downright disappointing.
Goosebump-worthy news, it was. I broke off a one year friendship that I once cherished - truly thought it was sincere and full of hope. With the crazy amount of love that I have showered this friendship with, I could never bring myself to solve the equation as to how such tragedy struck over it. For over a month, I found myself drowned in thoughts with an unimaginable list of questions consistently being generated in my mind. It was a lot to take in. You see, when you have the chance to take a step back and see things in a totally different perspective, you would come to notice a lot of things.
Which brings me back to the title of this post.
Time does not heal all wounds, that is a lie. You heal your own wounds.
Living in a world with a population of over 7 billion, what are the chances of meeting new people who would treat you as how you would treat others? Endless. With every obstacle, comes a new path and I love where I am now. Though I am aware that nothing is constant, I do know that there will always be angels around me wherever I go. I may never understand why such events exist but I trust the plans that He has for me.
Time waits for no one and our wounds can only be stitched back together by our own will. Acceptance is the key to the lock - forgiveness. I do not see what had happened as a loss, I see it as an opportunity to experience how ugly a friendship can turn out to be and what life has to offer above all that. It has been a couple of months, and life is much calmer now. I am embracing change.
So here's something that I learned about being a decent human being.
Do what makes you happy but never in the expense of others. Seeing the people I love happy, makes me happy.
Despite being mentioned after everything else, do continue playing as victims.
Watch me as I breathe back to life.
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